BismAllah ..
Salaam Alaikum

Questions on the Prophet's (pbuh) polygamous marriages during the later part of his life are common and keep proliferating with different ideas of every individual, often accompanied with the standard misunderstanding of "lust" as the reason for his marriages.

A good way to elucidate and understand is to breifly explore the Prophet's biography on the basis of the Quraan and reliable historical data. We cannot take the Hadith into account as this is basically a collection of fictional stories by clerics of later times to promote their own ideas. Something as important as the Prophet's personal life cannot be made to rely on such suspicious and controversial collection of writings.

The Noble Quraan says: "And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) ...." (4:3) An-Nissa

The term "justice" doesn't simply refer to romantic affections. More importantly, it includes financial care by the husband. As per the rules of society and cultural demands, co-wives are always housed separately in different homes. A husband must be in a position to provide for each wife without discrimination otherwise he is clearly not in a position to handle a polygamous marriage and must not do so.

But to begin, let's get an idea of the status of polygamy in Islam. Islam did not start polygamy. Polygamy was a very old culture and the Quraan restricted that culture. Also, as per the Quraan, polygamy is not a compulsion but simply a provision. As Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall mentioned that in Christianity, celebacy is the ideal and monogamy the concession. In Islam, monogamy is the ideal and polygamy the concession. The purpose of polygamy is not (or should not be) to satisfy carnal desires. Unless a man has a very plausible reason pertaining to family convenience, financial security or genuine compassion for providing security to a suffering woman, he must stick to monogamy. Even for such plausible reasons, consultations with his existing wife about a co-wife marriage is a must. If she disagrees, then the man will have to either quit the idea of a co-wife marriage, or he will have to divorce his existing wife with her due financial compensations as per Quraanic laws, and then marry the other woman. Polygamy is not permitted in Islam without the consent of the existing wife or wives. Thus, there's no concept of secret polygamous marriages. This is obvious from the Prophet's biography as none of his wives were ever kept in the dark about each other.

It should be made plain that Muslim women are not forced to accept polygamy, and they have the valid right to put a condition against it in their marriage contract. The fact that several of those men indulging in polygamy nowadays are ignoring the Quraanic / Prophetic values and following the pre-Islamic trends of polygamy is a very different and unfortunate matter.

Now coming to the actual subject of the Prophet's marriages, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was not the only Prophet who had a polygamous marriage. It was much the same with Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon (peace on them all). Moreover, polygamy has always been a social aspect, not religious. It's much the same even today. When the Prophet Muhammad was spreading the Message of the Quraan, he faced numerous hardships created by the society he lived in. The people brought plenty of false accusations against the Prophet to discredit the Quraan. They called him a liar, a madman, a magician and so on. But nobody ever accused him of loose character by misunderstanding his marriages. That's because polygamy was looked upon as a very accepted social culture in that era.

Various stages of the Prophet Muhammad's married life:

Firstly, the Prophet and his wives led a very austere life with only the bare necessities and no luxuries. He was a very busy man with a constantly hectic routine. His resposibilities as the messenger of Allah and the head of the first Muslim state in Madinah made him spend long stretches of time away from home, attending to his numerous duties. Similarly, he wives were not idle and pleasure loving women spending their time in the luxury of comfortable harems or homes. Rather, they were very outdoor women who led a hard life of work, toil and sacrifice. They too were constantly busy with teaching others the importance of the Divine Message, doing various charitable work, helping the poor, attending to the sick and those injured during wars etc. In circumstances like these, romance and lust is hardly ever a factor in a marriage.

The Prophet remained single and celebate till the age of 25.

At 25, he married Khadija. She proposed the marriage and the Prophet accepted it. Khadija was 40 and twice divorced with children from previous marriages. For 25 years the Prophet was very happily married and much in love with only Khadija, who bore all his children except one. In fact, this was his only love marriage. Throughout, she remained his wife and closest friend whom he trusted the most. When Khadija died, the Prophet was 50. He remained deeply in love with her till he passed away, and always spoke of her with a lot of admiration. He took special delight in cherishing Khadija's memories till his final days.

For 2 years, from ages 50 to 52, the Prophet remained unmarried and widowed, mourning the death of his beloved wife. He lived with his daughters during this period.

All his other marriages took place between the ages of 53 and 60. The Prophet passed away when he was 63.

Throughout his life of 63 years, the period of the Prophet's monogamous marriage with Khadija was for 25 years, while the period of polygamous marriages was only for the last 10 years. Thus, it's difficult (if not impossible) for any person to suddenly turn "lustful" for just 7 years of his life at age 53, after being either celebate or monogamous all his life. Such behavioral pattern simply doesn't conform with the realities of human nature and is never found in the text books.

Briefly elucidating the reasons for the Prophet's marriages:

The Prophet's life regarding his marriages can be divided into 2 categories.

1) Muhammad the man, who needed a loving wife, children, and a home, so he married Khadijah and remained only with her for 25 years until she died.

2) Muhammad the Prophet, who later married other wives for reasons pertaining to his duty (i.e. duty as the Messenger of God and as a statesman) and for honouring ties of friendship .. all of which brought about the aspect of marriage in his life as an important factor resolving various issues. All his other wives were women who were carefully selected, not just picked at random for satisfying "sexual desires." Except for Aisha, they were all widows or divorcees, neither rich nor beautiful.

Every event of history needs to be analysed according to the norms, standards and values of that particular era. Otherwise one's perception and judgment can go completely awry. Needless to mention, the social and political traditions of that era all over the world were vastly different from today, requiring very different steps for handling matters. In 7th century Arabia, it was customary to establish family ties, to formally seal treaties and resolve other political issues on the basis of inter-marriages between tribes, families and clans. All of the Prophet's marriages during 7 years in Madina, and also the marriages of his daughters, were either for establishing family ties with close friends or other tribal leaders for poltical purposes. E.g. Two of the Prophet's closest friends, Abu Bakr and Umar who were the first two righteous Caliphs, were also the fathers of his two wives Aisha and Hafsa. Usman and Ali, the third and fourth righteous Caliphs, were married to the Prophet's daughters. Usman married Ruqayyah and Zainab in succession, and Ali married Fatima. Ali, who was the Prophet's first cousin, also became his son-in-law.

To offer a practical role model to Muslims for all times to come, regardless of his neutral feelings towards some of his wives , he was a perfect example of equal justice and kindness to all of them. He never discriminated among them.

He presented a superb example of both monogamous and polygamous marriage.

Many people ask, exactly how many wives did the Prophet have and who were they? The Prophet had 12 wives in all, but when he died, he had 9 wives. They all have a very special status in the hearts of Muslims. They are all recognized as the "Mothers of the Believers" according to the dictate of the Quraan. Their names are, in the order of marriage: Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Sawdah bint Zamah, Aisha bint Abi Bakr, Hafsah bint Umar ibn Al-Khattab, Zaynab bint Khuzaymah, Umm Salama, Zaynab bint Jahsh, Juwayriah bint Al-Harith, Umm Habibah, Safiyah bint Huyay, Maimuna bint Al-Harith and Maria the Copt.

Although many other believing women approached Muhammad in Madina, offering him themselves in marriage, he politely turned down their offers.

Maria
Maria was not a concubine. She was a slave owned by one of the Christian governors of Egypt. She was given to the Prophet by the governor of Egypt as a "good-will gift" in reply to the Prophet's invitation to Islam. Maria was sent from Egypt to Madina. She converted to Islam while on her way to Madina. The Prophet, instead of accepting her as a slave or concubine, married her formally with a proper dowry .. thus also elevating her status as one of the wives of the Prophet.

Zeynab bint Jahsh
As is well known, various non-Muslim groups have systematically constructed stories with malicious intent about the Prophet's marriage with Zeynab. They try to make it look that the Prophet saw and met Zeynab because of her marriage to his freed adopted son, Zeyd. But after a slight historical research, and a careful reading of the Quraan, this myth has now been busted.

Zeynab was the Prophet's first cousin (daughter of his mother's sister) and the Prophet had known her since she was a child, just as anyone would know their first cousin. She was the sister of Abdullah bin Jahsh, also the Prophet's cousin and a very close ally. Moreover, the Prophet was the one who had arranged this marriage, so there's no question of his meeting Zeynab through Zeyd.

In his commentary of the 33rd chapter of the Quraan, M.M. Pickthall mentions that in Verse 33:37 the reference is to the unhappy marriage of Zeyd, the Prophet's freedman and adopted son with Zeynab, the Prophet's first cousin, a proud lady of Qureish. The Prophet arranged the marriage with the idea of breaking down the old barrier of pride of caste and had shown little consideration to Zeynab's feelings. History says that both she and her brother were averse to the match and that she had always wished to marry the Prophet. For Zeyd, the marriage was nothing but a cause of embarrassment. When the Prophet's attention was first called to their unhappiness, he urged Zeyd to keep his wife and not divorce her, being apprehensive of the talk that would arise if it became known that a marriage arranged by him had proved unhappy. However, the marriage became so difficult for both Zeynab and Zeyd that eventually there was no way out other than a divorce. The Prophet married Zeynab much after Zeyd divorced her. According to the Quraan, the importance of this event is to confirm the Quraanic law that it is permissible for a man to marry the ex-wife of his adopted son, but not the ex-wife of his biological son.

Verse 33:37 of Surah Al-Ahzab which says "And when thou saidst unto him on whom Allah hath conferred favour and thou hast conferred favour: Keep thy wife to thyself, and fear Allah. And thou didst hide in thy mind that which Allah was to bring to light, and thou didst fear mankind whereas Allah hath a better right that thou shouldst fear Him. So when Zeyd had performed that necessary formality (of divorce) from her, We gave her unto thee in marriage, so that (henceforth) there may be no sin for believers in respect of wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have performed the necessary formality (of release) from them. The commandment of Allah must be fulfilled." is the only one that talks on this topic. Please keep in mind, this Verse is not a dictate to get Zeynab divorced for making her available for the Prophet as sarcastically claimed by non-Muslim groups with a very purposeful misinterpretation, and also as blindly believed by Hadith adherents on the basis of Hadith writings, most of which brazenly clash with Quraanic details and historical facts. This Verse simply confirms an event and highlights the legitimacy of a particular law. The last sentence of Verse 33:37 that states "The commandment of Allah must be fulfilled" is not directed personally at the Prophet. "The commandment" refers to the general law of making the ex-wife of a man's adopted son legally permissible for him for marriage and its implementation. In such a matter, the distinction between an adopted son and a biological son is the actual point of this law. The permissibility to marry the divorced wife of an adopted son was not just for the Prophet. It was for everyone.

Aisha bint Abi Bakr
The presumption of Aisha's very young age of marriage with the Prophet has provided much food for thought to the critics. However, the truth is that all that talk about Aisha's nikah at age 7 and consummation of her marriage at age 9 or 10 is another manipulative tale springing from nowhere else but the notorious Hadith institution, a renowned 'den' of lies and gossips against the Prophet. It is only the Hadith that narrates a string of stories spreading the notion of Aisha's marriage at age 9 without citing any evidence, as usual. Hadith has never presented any proof for anything it's claimed so far and neither have the naive faithfuls demanded it. But after analysing and putting together various vital historical data chronologically, historians and analysts have observed and proven without a doubt that Aisha's age at the time of her marriage to the Prophet was at least between 16 to 20 years, possibly more. Even some rational Sunni historians have totally disregarded the babblings of Hadith concerning Aisha's age of marriage to be 9 years as nonsense and after calculating from the dates of history have concluded that she could have been as much as 34 at the time of her marriage to the Prophet. But even is she wasn't 34, she was nothing less than 16 to 20. To read the complete compilation of analysis disproving the fairy tale of Aisha's child marriage, read the brilliant article by T.O. Shahnawas titled The Ancient Myth Exposed

This is not to say that the culture of girls getting married soon after maturity was not practiced at all in the society at that time. In fact, girls getting married at ages 11 to 13 was common as late as the early 20th century, and there was nothing unethical about it either. Most of those marriages were actually very happy ones. But in the case of Aisha when every bit of historical evidence points that she was much older than just 9 when married, there's absolutely no reason not to reject it and accept the correct findings based on systematic and scientific compilation of facts.

The Prophet had a total of 7 children. Khadija was the mother of six of his children while Maria was the mother of one. Out of the six children from Khadija, there were 4 daughters and 2 sons. Both sons died in infancy. The child from Maria was also a son named Ibrahim. He too died in infancy. The 4 daughters of the Prophet were Zainab, Roqayya, Umm Kulsoom and Fatima.

So much about the complete history of all marriages of the Prophet Muhamamd .. peace, love and blessings be upon our final messenger and Seal of the prophets.
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Reputation is what people think of us. Character is what God knows of us.